Sex Toy Review: The NJoy Pure Plug (guest post)

Today’s a special occasion: this review was written by my partner and submissive, as the one with most firsthand experience and plenty of opinions. Also some resemblance to David Tennant’s portrayal of Crowley, being a tall genderqueer person with long hair and a preference for black, not to mention the dark glasses. If that explains anything. 😉

The NJoy Pure Plug – Medium

Imagine you awaken on a crisp morning halfway between the departing sting of winter and the enveloping warmth of spring. It’s one of those bright, dry, white-lit days that brims with a kind of saucy playfulness. Think of it as the complement to those late September evenings of which so much poetry has been written. No, today is not any ordinary day. It demands something unique.

You could break out the old tartan skirt and flame boots combo that’s just a little too Type O-Negative today. Maybe some ripped jeans and the leather jacket with the ‘Be Gay, Do Crimes’ patch sewn on one shoulder? Or why not go the opposite way, and mod out, Reservoir Dogs style, before giving in and turning it into a Crowley cosplay? Again. Maybe you’ll even look up a tutorial on how to tie a cravat.

Now, what would bring this outfit together? What are we lacking?

Of course! The plug!

When I was a baby kinkster growing up early days of the internet, I was double-shotgunned by a combination of bad online sex shops and bad online femdom porn. I came away with the idea that sex toys that go in your butt are meant to be disciplinary, even punishing. Purple prose taken from roughly ten zillion websites teletypes its way across my brain without even asking consent: “He moaned, the huge intruder stretching him to his limit, his moans muffled by the gag as he wondered how much more–” Etcetera.

And yeah, if that’s your bag, go for it. But it doesn’t do anything for me.

You know what does do something for me?

THE NJOY PURE PLUG.

Holy crap, friends! What a delightful little appliance I have come into contact with. Again, I’d had instilled in me a million years ago that anal plugs were hideous megaophallic dongs, and so while I knew I enjoyed sensations all up in my backyard, I’d kind of written off plugs in my mind.

WHAT A FOOL WAS I.

First, these widgets are adorable. They are *art* objects, crafted with love and skill out of a single piece of medical grade high stainless steel. They look like something Pris would have in her handbag in Blade Runner, and they feel…amazingly comfortable.

I MEAN, LOOK AT THS ADORABLE LITTLE THING. It is a masterwork of handicraft, designed, created, and sold by people who are as proudly perverted as I aspire to be. The future is here. And you can stick it where the sun don’t shine.

Ease of Application: When my domme purchased this delightful toy for my (and her) pleasure, she wisely chose the Medium size, on the principle that 1) She knew I didn’t need a “small,” and 2) We can always size up if needed. I happen to be very, er, accommodating in that area (not through having done anything, the hardware just came that way), so fitting the NJoy was no problem at all. I am a huge fan of Astroglide, and abide by the wisdom of Erika Moen’s anal safety snails. Easy does it. Take your time. A gentle touch, a passage of the borderline, and the business end is resting comfortably inside.

As the Pure Plug narrows dramatically past this point, it gives no sensation of pulling or distending the anal sphincter at all. You guys, it’s comfortable. I could wear this to a black-tie event –  and probably will someday, if my domme has anything to say about it. What’s brilliant here is that whether or not you are achieving a state of party time is due entirely to your own muscle movements, your personal mindset, and what’s going on with your partner or partners. That handle you can see on the end of the plug is brilliant for keeping everything in place, allowing ease of removal (!!!), AND giving your partner some options, too.

It’s great. My domme can grind on me for hours without producing discomfort, but if she WANTS MY ATTENTION, I’ve just added another handle for her to grab me by.

In short, this was everything I could have hoped for and more. A brilliant addition to a toy closet that is filling up at alarming speed. Wear it all day for a spring in your step (is THAT why Crowley walks like that?) or slip it on in the wee hours for some fun and games.

9.5 out of 10*

*(Honestly, this would be a 10/10, but I have a mild paranoia about the thing slipping out – CLONK – at that black-tie event; a factor which has nothing to do with quality and everything to do with *someone* needing to buy the next size up before this year’s Halloween party. Yum.)