Sex toy review: Astroglide water-based gel lube

So this isn’t quite a toy, and perhaps this is less a review than a product recommendation and/or a PSA, with a bit of rant thrown in (feel free to scroll past it to the actual ‘about Astroglide’ info if you already agree).

First, on my soapbox for the rant. LUBE: USE IT!

If you’re rubbing something and want only the right kind of friction? Lube makes that easier! If you’re sticking something into somewhere else? Lube can help! Even if that somewhere else provides natural lubrication, more can only help!

A guy once told me that he was vanilla, by which he specified he was uninterested in “sex involving anything other than the human body and a condom.” The condom was probably only mentioned because of social pressure. He also pointed out the brand he had “were lubricated” when I suggested using lube, and seemed to find the idea of adding more distinctly uncomfortable. Which, fine, prefer what you prefer, but my advice to everyone else is: don’t fuck someone who finds lube too kinky for them. After all, they’re not interested in making that fucking any easier.

Also don’t fuck someone who finds the idea of lube an insult to their sexual prowess. Mucous membranes are gonna mucus, or not (oh god, I’m so sorry, I think all of yours have switched over to “not” for the next few hours now) for their own reasons, in their own amounts, whether or not you’re truly turned on and regardless of whether those amounts are sufficient to your desired purposes. Using lube is not an admission of defeat; it’s clever forethought.

So now that we’re all in agreement that lube is good to have around, I’ll step down from my soapbox and explain why the lube I keep around is Astroglide water-based gel.

So, T.C., what’s Astroglide like?

• First off, and importantly for my purposes, as a water-based lube, it’s toy-safe (unlike silicone lubricants).
• Second off, and even more important, it’s in our experience nice and body-safe (aka boytoy safe, if you will. And girlfriend safe. My partner goes by both.). The ingredients listed on Amazon are Purified Water, Glycerin, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Chlorhexidine Gluconate, Methylparaben, Glucono Delta Lactone, Sodium Hydroxide. If you’re allergic to any of those, I don’t recommend it, obviously.
• The gel part means this is nicely thick. This is great for two reasons: one is that it’s not very drippy like other, more liquid lubricants I’ve used. I’m zealous with lube, but having lots of slippery liquid in the bedroom can lead to other hazards–not such a problem with gel!
• Two, the gel part means this is long-lasting, and in our experience, a little can go a long way on a nonporous surface (ie a silicone or stainless steel toy. Your body is not nonporous. Don’t be stingy with lube if you think you might want more.)
• The texture feels pretty good. Like…I’m not sure what a good metaphor is. Easily the best goop I’ve ever run over my fingers. Silky? Creamy? It’s smooth-feeling and reassuringly cushiony.
  • The lubricant-feeling equivalent of wine-tasting may be far in the future yet, and they probably won’t invite me to pilot it. Which is fine, because I’m going to be content to stick with Astroglide water-based gel anyway.
• But most importantly, my beloved bottom raves about Astroglide gel too: it’s apparently one of their faves out of their experience, for smooth, comfortable texture and long-lastingness, and they’re the one it matters most to.
• It’s also nice and easy to clean up afterward. No stains from what I’ve seen, and as mentioned, not much dripping. Of course, it’s smart to put down a towel or a blanket first. My partner got a cool thrift store blanket with “Queen of the World” emblazoned on it for such purposes. I’m honored.

I was pleased to see it’s in stock at my local CVS, though even more pleased to have picked up a nice three-bottle supply off Amazon. I keep a bottle in my box of tricks, a bottle in my travel bag, and a bottle at my partner’s house.

The only other addition I may want to make to my lubricant collection–aside from some zany sampling extravaganza, which certainly is possible–is a blend that includes aloe vera for extra tissue hydration, something we sometimes need here in the dry northern winters when we vigorously attempt to keep warm. It’d be used in addition to a primary lubricant, and the one I’ll likely keep using is Astroglide.

But please, even if Astroglide isn’t the kind you’d prefer, keep an open mind about using lube. If your partner asks for it, don’t make them feel weird for it. Think how cool and sexy it’d be instead to say “Absolutely, and I’ve already got just the thing in my bag of tricks” as you pull out a 3-pack of Astroglide.

Well, *my* panties would drop.