2020 is hindsight (a year-end review)

Okay, so it ended almost a month ago–can you blame me for taking several weeks to summon the necessary courage to anthologize last year?

Ultimately, the thing I wrote in 2020 that most encapsulates the year is probably my girlfriend’s eulogy.

At the same time, if you gave me the chance to relive 2020, I’d say yes–because in it I lived for about six months alongside (often metaphorically, through text message, but even so) one of the most incredible people I’ve ever known. And those six months were worth the six months that came after.

The final half of 2020 had one or two saving graces as well–the nationwide party on November 7th comes to mind, and on a slightly smaller scale, the October 24th release of the New Smut Project’s third book, Erato.

I’d started Erato for two reasons: one, it seemed like a good idea to have something to sink my passion into in addition to my gorgeous boytoy–independence being part of a healthy relationship–and two, I simply found myself itching to put together a book. It was a project of pure desire. In hindsight, both those reasons hold up well. But let’s talk more about projects of desire–about the books and stories worked on in 2020.

So the year started, back in what my family now calls “precedented times,” with another putting-together-a-book project: I formatted easy-to-read PDF, ebook, and paperback editions of Teleny, OR The Reverse of the Medal, aka Oscar Wilde’s gay erotic novel. The PDF can be downloaded for free here, while the paperback and Kindle versions turned out to be my personal Amazon account’s bestsellers for 2020, if not for all time. I’m trying not to take that personally. After all, it’s Oscar Wilde. At least it may have been. Speculation abounds. Why not read it yourself so you have some firsthand data, as it were, from which to speculate? ;D

Another somewhat different project started in 2020, on this very blog, in the realm of nonfiction: I wrote several sex toy reviews. They were very fun and offered a chance to contemplate some important questions about what makes a sex toy, or sex more generally, enjoyable. Astroglide, the Sili Saddle, and the NJoy Pure Plug all made the year (and beyond) a bit brighter.

Around Valentine’s day, my Poe-inspired f/f erotic romance appeared in Mystique, an anthology of gay and lesbian fantasy. You can read my elevator-pitch summary of it and an excerpt here. The connection to plague and any other resemblances to reality are coincidental and/or blameable on Poe.

In April, Infernal Ink released its penultimate issue of erotic horror, which included my piece “Beyond Words.” It’s about a variation of lycanthropy, and young love, and moments stolen in the woods, and being left breathless… violent, bittersweet, and okay, I admit it, kinda hot.

My story “Route 34”, or any of the 9 other stories in the Rule 34: Volume 2 anthology, probably didn’t turn out to be as weird as this year was. And since it’s about the unexpected pleasures of being stuck in traffic, it might be more escapist or nostalgic than relatable. But one thing I hope a lot of us can relate to is the blushing, giddiness-inducing thrill of sharing a weird turn-on with your partner and watching them run to fulfill it, or vice versa, the fun of fulfilling your partner’s unique desires.

Since I was editing a flash fiction anthology at the time, it was fun to have some of my own literary erotic flash fiction appear on The Erotic Review–“Like That” is a kernel of what may someday become a much larger story, showing the moments where two ex-lovers suddenly catch a glimpse of what their dynamic might have been about.

Another story, “Annunciation” (on falling in love with the Virgin Mary) appeared in the Cliterature Journal. Unfortunately, it turns out Cliterature “sunset” in July 2020. This lights a fire under me to gather “Annunciation” and a few other pieces together into a short story collection. The collection’s working title is Bodies of Ghosts: Stories of Survival and Longing. Of course, as that title hints, one reason I’ve been holding off on putting together and query (or self-printing) the collection is the obvious–I might have one or two more pieces to write on that central theme before it’s complete.

“To Have and to Hold” entered wide distribution last year, so I’m going to count it as part of the 2020 review because heck, we deserve some romantic pegging.

An aside related to wider distribution: these days, Amazon is basically a necessity to writers who want their books bought. But they’re also a terrifying conglomerate whose power expands each time you blink. So one good thing to come out of 2020 was Bookshop.org, which supports independent bookstores while making online book purchases easy. All the titles I’m mentioning in this post, if they’re in booklike shapes, should be available there alongside previous publications and my own favorite reads.

The Sexy Librarian’s Dirty 30, Volume 3 audiobook came out last year to generally rave reviews. I especially admire the word-stringing panache of the reviewer who says, “I’m the consummate multitasker who thought I could listen in the background while doing other tasks. Not a chance! These tales stiffened my attention like a smack to the cheek.”

“Their Window,” a story of two wives claiming their space in their new home, went up for free on the MMURE website.

And the last piece of the year from me would be “Cold-Kissed,” a wintery but warming pegging story that appeared in BUST Issue #121. It also happens to be the last story of mine that my girlfriend read. “BUST has good taste,” he said.

I also have a story coming out in an anthology this summer that he inspired, and which is dedicated to him.

(A note on future releases: I have a Newsletter for updates in your inbox–it also has a list for anthologies I’ll be editing. And for complete lists of my published fiction, you can always check out my Stories tab, my Year in Review tag, or my author profiles on Amazon, Goodreads, BookBub, or Smashwords.)

And then, in October 2020, ERATO!! Honestly, there’s a point at which words fail to convey my enthusiasm. It contains 50 entries of literary erotic flash fiction that knocked my knee-high leather boots off (not to mention charmed my discerning co-editors), how’s that sound?

It’s been so much fun that I’m even looking forward to someday editing an Erato II–at least that’s my planned title, although my girlfriend did tell me “I admire your restraint in not titling it Era-two.”

In closing: the widow’s fog has started to lift. One thing that helped was moving to a new condo, which has given me a better environment (a view out onto green space, quiet neighbors, many more closets and shelves so I’m not constantly stepping on top of myself). But I haven’t written fiction since my partner died. I’ve drafted some ideas and jotted down notes and outlines. I’ve rewritten and submitted previously-completed stories. And I have many, many ideas for new anthologies to edit. The latter, I think, will be my big project for 2021, because I need to do something I have passion for. A work of desire.

The title of the first one on my to-do list was inspired by a punny love-text from that person I did not leave in 2020, any more than he left me–Cunning Linguists: Language, Literature, and Lechery.