Well, pegging is having a cultural moment…

For some reason, my romantic honeymoon first-time pegging story To Have and To Hold has sold multiple copies on Amazon this month after having a relatively quiet year. 

I wish I knew what’s gone right, because I don’t think it’s anything I’m responsible for. I can’t find evidence of someone else reviewing or linking to the story recently, either. 

Is it that pegging is having a cultural moment and I have that keyword in the subtitle? 

Book sales, the eternal mystery.

Anyway, since every copy sold is $1 to the Center for Pleasure and Sexual Health, I can write them a check soon. This is good news (the sales part; pegging’s cultural moment is rather mixed), just somewhat baffling good news. Arguably the best kind?

Downloads of my free pegging story distributed through Smashwords have also shot up 400% over the last reporting period, so maybe it is a cultural moment. 

And this makes me happy those two stories are very clear on pegging not being painful or a way to take “revenge” on a man or patriarchy in general. I mean, if you enjoy that fantasy or wish to do it safely and with mutual consent in real life, more power to you. Or less power to you, depending on which role you prefer to take. But it’s not the preference of myself or my current pegging-erotica audience. No, my stories are about pegging as a super hot way to have sex.

(Pain & punishment is also not the message sex educator Luna Matatas means to promote with her–trademarked, and worn at the Gala without her endorsement or permission–phrase. Though she does describe her view of pegging, a metaphor that goes beyond the sex act, as “subversion” and even that is…well, I respect Matatas’ work and deplore the plagiarism of her trademark, but her view is not my own view. Of course, different people can view the same act/concept/term differently–and people can take different perspectives at different times. But I don’t recall ever pegging someone with the thought “Yes, I am subverting something.” I’m just having good sex. So I’ve always been wary of subversion-style phrasing, and wary of linking pegging with patriarchy in any capacity — but I’m even more concerned and dismayed at the popular idea of pegging as a violent or vengeful act, which the slogan’s uncredited and low-context appearance at the Met Gala promotes more than challenges, completely against Matatas’ intentions. The article linked at the beginning of this parenthetical offers more important context and information about Matatas and her work as a queer, POC sex educator–and any article that opens with someone “teaching her Intro to Cock and Ball Torture class” is a cultural moment in and of itself.)

Meanwhile, in case my efforts do sell books ;D, or if you’re just curious, here’s an excerpt from To Have and To Hold:

“Maybe you should stop trying to make sense of my kinks,” he says, smiling.

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

With some reluctance, she takes her hand from his ass and leans over the side of the bed for her suitcase. He takes the items as she hands them up. The lube, the packets of gloves and condoms, and then the double-headed dildo. It’s in a marbled blue pattern that reminds her of the ocean. The “flesh” color didn’t match either of their skin tones, too pale for hers and too dark for his, and actually, she likes that this one doesn’t look at all realistic. What about any of this is realistic?

She’s married, to James, they’re on their honeymoon, the view outside her window looks like a postcard, and she’s about to fuck him just as he wants her to.

Claire leans over him as he spreads his legs, opening a space for her, exposing himself to her. She lifts his balls, already high and tight with his erection, and looks at him. He shivers, a tremble working its way up his thighs and turning into a wiggle along his hips and spine, as if her examination is overwhelming.

“You look good,” she says. “You’re so turned on.” One gloved finger runs along his cock, tracing a vein. “You don’t need to be shy.”

She actually can’t see a lot, his modesty protected by shadows and a little dark, curling hair. In itself that’s sexy to her. Claire has never thought of herself as the kind of person to be turned on by despoiling virgins, but there it is.

She brushes his hole with a lubed fingertip. “Okay?”

He pushes himself a little wider, another visible tremor moving along his legs. “Yes. Please.”

She feels him flex against her fingertip, not resisting but uncertain, so obviously self-conscious that it makes her smile coyly herself. As she pushes into him, his reaction is like stuttering, stammering, a shy flutter of muscles around her that makes her heart skip beats with utter adoration. He’s adorable.

“Oh my god,” she whispers as she slips further inside, eased by the slick lubricant and by the way he relaxes with a deep, slow breath. In a way it’s simpler than she feared but it’s also astonishing, this intimate opening of his body for her.

---

I also want to say, the view from the other side of the strap is beautifully given in my late partner’s short story collection, available as a free or pay-what-you-will ebook this October. My girlfriend’s writing, not incidentally, goes against the assumption that pegging is something only done by cishet couples.

I’ve also written some stories exploring the power dynamics that can be present in pegging–including dynamics that are rather opposite the mainstream’s expectations–now collected in Tender Things.

As it happens, I do have some strong opinions and feelings on pegging (one of the foremost being, “It’s fun!”). And for all I’ve rambled in this blog post, I think I express those feelings more clearly and strongly–and, not coincidentally, less self-consciously–in fiction.