Archives: excerpt

Well, pegging is having a cultural moment…

For some reason, my romantic honeymoon first-time pegging story To Have and To Hold has sold multiple copies on Amazon this month after having a relatively quiet year. 

I wish I knew what’s gone right, because I don’t think it’s anything I’m responsible for. I can’t find evidence of someone else reviewing or linking to the story recently, either. 

Is it that pegging is having a cultural moment and I have that keyword in the subtitle? 

Book sales, the eternal mystery.

Anyway, since every copy sold is $1 to the Center for Pleasure and Sexual Health, I can write them a check soon. This is good news (the sales part; pegging’s cultural moment is rather mixed), just somewhat baffling good news. Arguably the best kind?

Downloads of my free pegging story distributed through Smashwords have also shot up 400% over the last reporting period, so maybe it is a cultural moment. 

And this makes me happy those two stories are very clear on pegging not being painful or a way to take “revenge” on a man or patriarchy in general. I mean, if you enjoy that fantasy or wish to do it safely and with mutual consent in real life, more power to you. Or less power to you, depending on which role you prefer to take. But it’s not the preference of myself or my current pegging-erotica audience. No, my stories are about pegging as a super hot way to have sex.

(Pain & punishment is also not the message sex educator Luna Matatas means to promote with her–trademarked, and worn at the Gala without her endorsement or permission–phrase. Though she does describe her view of pegging, a metaphor that goes beyond the sex act, as “subversion” and even that is…well, I respect Matatas’ work and deplore the plagiarism of her trademark, but her view is not my own view. Of course, different people can view the same act/concept/term differently–and people can take different perspectives at different times. But I don’t recall ever pegging someone with the thought “Yes, I am subverting something.” I’m just having good sex. So I’ve always been wary of subversion-style phrasing, and wary of linking pegging with patriarchy in any capacity — but I’m even more concerned and dismayed at the popular idea of pegging as a violent or vengeful act, which the slogan’s uncredited and low-context appearance at the Met Gala promotes more than challenges, completely against Matatas’ intentions. The article linked at the beginning of this parenthetical offers more important context and information about Matatas and her work as a queer, POC sex educator–and any article that opens with someone “teaching her Intro to Cock and Ball Torture class” is a cultural moment in and of itself.)

Meanwhile, in case my efforts do sell books ;D, or if you’re just curious, here’s an excerpt from To Have and To Hold:


“Maybe you should stop trying to make sense of my kinks,” he says, smiling.

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

With some reluctance, she takes her hand from his ass and leans over the side of the bed for her suitcase. He takes the items as she hands them up. The lube, the packets of gloves and condoms, and then the double-headed dildo. It’s in a marbled blue pattern that reminds her of the ocean. The “flesh” color didn’t match either of their skin tones, too pale for hers and too dark for his, and actually, she likes that this one doesn’t look at all realistic. What about any of this is realistic?

She’s married, to James, they’re on their honeymoon, the view outside her window looks like a postcard, and she’s about to fuck him just as he wants her to.

Claire leans over him as he spreads his legs, opening a space for her, exposing himself to her. She lifts his balls, already high and tight with his erection, and looks at him. He shivers, a tremble working its way up his thighs and turning into a wiggle along his hips and spine, as if her examination is overwhelming.

“You look good,” she says. “You’re so turned on.” One gloved finger runs along his cock, tracing a vein. “You don’t need to be shy.”

She actually can’t see a lot, his modesty protected by shadows and a little dark, curling hair. In itself that’s sexy to her. Claire has never thought of herself as the kind of person to be turned on by despoiling virgins, but there it is.

She brushes his hole with a lubed fingertip. “Okay?”

He pushes himself a little wider, another visible tremor moving along his legs. “Yes. Please.”

She feels him flex against her fingertip, not resisting but uncertain, so obviously self-conscious that it makes her smile coyly herself. As she pushes into him, his reaction is like stuttering, stammering, a shy flutter of muscles around her that makes her heart skip beats with utter adoration. He’s adorable.

“Oh my god,” she whispers as she slips further inside, eased by the slick lubricant and by the way he relaxes with a deep, slow breath. In a way it’s simpler than she feared but it’s also astonishing, this intimate opening of his body for her.


I also want to say, the view from the other side of the strap is beautifully given in my late partner’s short story collection, available as a free or pay-what-you-will ebook this October. My girlfriend’s writing, not incidentally, goes against the assumption that pegging is something only done by cishet couples.

I’ve also written some stories exploring the power dynamics that can be present in pegging–including dynamics that are rather opposite the mainstream’s expectations–now collected in Tender Things.

As it happens, I do have some strong opinions and feelings on pegging (one of the foremost being, “It’s fun!”). And for all I’ve rambled in this blog post, I think I express those feelings more clearly and strongly–and, not coincidentally, less self-consciously–in fiction.

Still looking for something to read?

Some good news for a change – I’ve had several new publications come out over the past few weeks, plus a few other places to recommend in your search for more material:

imageFirst, “Beyond Words” in Infernal Ink’s penultimate issue (okay, maybe that part’s not such happy news)  is an erotic horror story of young love, as a woman comes of terrible age. It quotes Shakespeare at a key point or two, and it’s sexy, sad, possibly even kind of sweet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also–and this is not a trick–I am super, super psyched to be one of the ten weird & wonderful stories in Rule 34, Volume 2: an erotica collection of unexpected turn-ons, live as of April 1!

image

My story, “Route 34,” is about being stuck in traffic, what might be the strangest reason to get light-headed over Charlize Theron in Fury Road, work shifts that don’t match up, and going the extra mile to satisfy your beloved. <3

The anthology is on sale at the sites listed HERE.

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, a reminder that I have two other stories available free online:

Cliterature’s GOD/DESS issue includes an excerpt from my story “Annunciation,” about gender, Catholicism, queer desire, and growing up in the middle of them. Fittingly, the issue came out just a few days past the Feast of the Annunciation.

We talked about family and gifts, sacraments and liberation theology and martyrs. What scars through resurrected hands and feet mean to survivors. You told me about WATER’s liturgies and discussions for queer women. The label was still new to me then. Once in high school, a boy had sneered to my best friend and I, “What are you, lesbians?” (I haven’t seen him since, unfortunately). You used both words with equal pride.

I told you about Gabriel.

We spoke all the way back to my dorm.

“It was great talking to you.”

“Gosh, yeah.”

And I let you kiss my lips instead of my cheek; I kissed you back; I went up to my room and sinned thoughtlessly, unselfconsciously, but afterwards I lay awake and thought and prayed.

The next Saturday, I invited you to my room for us to finish our project. Which we did, in record time. And then—Two women together in a bedroom.

“You’re so beautiful,” I say, placing your folded socks on my chair without looking away from your hands as they open your shirt. The silver Miraculous Medal gleams at your throat beneath the rainbow bandana. I’ve put my rosary aside. “You’re the most…awesome, amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

You don’t seem to know what to make of that, but after a moment you smile. I lean closer, placing my hands on your knees. Your body’s warmth beats through your jeans.

“Okay,” I say—reassuring myself more than you. Be not afraid. “This is . . . better than okay.”

At the Erotic Review, “Like That“–part of what may one day become a proper romance novel–shows how two former lovers briefly become closer to each other. It’s also more than a little kinky.

While it was going so well, he’d proposed handcuffs. She accepted, enthusiastically. And when he brought over the pair he’d picked up at the porn store off the highway, she’d hopped onto her bed and raised her hands toward the headboard. That was when he realised maybe he hadn’t been clear. Or in her eagerness she had misinterpreted him.

But she was so eager to have them put on her. So he did.

It was fun, although he was slower to get hard than he’d ever been. At first he worried he wouldn’t be able to get into it. But she was, after all, naked — beautifully so — and her excitement became contagious.

The fact was, Leo liked doing what women wanted. But this time, he felt out of place — enjoying it, but in the way he would enjoy accidentally crashing someone else’s party.

Lastly, ebooks!

If your socially responsible isolation reading includes a Kindle Unlimited subscription, you should know:

  • Lovely Boy, a submissive male story of taboo roleplay, is available on KU until May 17
    • It’s up for preorder on Gumroad and will be available on Smashwords in May.
  • Her Seal Upon Him, a femdom story of medieval fantasy, is available on KU until May 20
  • To Have and to Hold: Honeymoon Pegging Erotica is only available on KU until April 11th–then it goes into expanded distribution.

Additionally, Smashwords continues its gigantic Authors Give Back sale until April 20–many of my books and both New Smut Project anthologies are 60% off or free for the next month. You can see the full catalog here.

Speaking of free books, TELENY (gay Victorian erotica which might be by Oscar Wilde) is available as a free download here on my website. It’s also available as a paperback through Amazon, but I can’t in conscience recommend giving Amazon warehouse workers more to do this month–especially since some of them are striking. Keep that in mind for later.

Also in mind for later when you order print books again–and relevant in light of Amazon’s less savory business practices: Bookshop.org is designed to be an ethical Amazon alternative and a convenient way to buy print and audio books online while supporting local bookstores. Of the sales price, 10% goes to support participating ABA independent bookstores in an earnings pool that is distributed to every six months. Another 10% of sales go to linking affiliates, including small publishers, for whom affiliate sales can provide as much as 20% of their total income. I’m a participating affiliate, with a “storefront” listing books my writing has appeared in; publications from my micropress, the New Smut Project; and recommendations of some of my favorite erotica titles:

https://bookshop.org/shop/tcmill 

As bookshop.org expands their catalog, I intend to keep building those lists, especially the ones for femdom!

As mentioned above, I’ve also started to experiment in offering ebooks directly through Gumroad–and might start offering paperbacks once I work out details such as shipping and sales tax. Here are the stores for my TC Mill books and The New Smut Project anthologies (you can “follow” us there for updates on paperbacks and/or the publication of our new flash fiction collection, Erato). Buying through Gumroad means a higher percentage for royalties go to the authors, which is especially important with the first two NSP anthos, for which 100% of profits are paid out as royalties to contributors.

Stay safe, keep your hands clean, and entertain yourselves! See you all on the other side.

Cosmic, uncanny, and erotic

Out this month, Mystique is an anthology of gay and lesbian erotic fantasy romance. My piece in it, “The Passion of Her Sleep,” is a Poe-inspired f/f love story, eerie, erotic, and sweet…

The elevator pitch–by which I mean what I’d ramble at you were you trapped in an elevator with me–is “Madeline Usher meets a beautiful, clever, and brilliant lady and lover in a dreamworld that is sort of the Masque of the Red Death, but much, much sexier. Together, can they escape the general grimness of storylines from Edgar Allan Poe?”

MYSTIQUE is currently available on the Aurelia Leo website and on Amazon. A paperback and audiobook version are coming soon!

 

An excerpt:

Ashtophet approaches, smiling. 

“You always find me,” Madeline says. 

“I’m always searching for you.”

Heat stirs under her skin. “I…” And words cascade from her, like the streams from the fountains feeding the pools. “I tried searching, too, in a way. I’m sorry it took so long. It used to be that I had trouble staying awake. Now I seem to have trouble falling asleep.”

Ashtophet’s beautiful lips form a frown. “That’s unlucky.”

“I’m an unlucky woman.” She looks down. Dampened from brushing the wet paving stones, the hem of her pale gown has become as clear as glass. “Please excuse my complaints. I’m not wholly unlucky. After all, you continue finding me.”

Ashtophet’s laughter is as musical as the fountains, and it brings Madeline’s head up. “Every night, I look forward to the search.”

“It’s how you choose to spend your dreams?”

“True.” She appears a little surprised at the idea, or simply amused. “Wandering this strange place—this beautiful place—witnessing all that happens here, though holding back from joining it myself… It’s been restful for me.” Ashtophet shifts on her feet. “And I’ve found you, another observer.”

“It’s not that I need the rest here,” Madeline admits, “so much as I don’t know how to begin to participate.” 

“And would you…like to?” Now Ashtophet’s gaze falls. Madeline follows it, landing on a tangle of orange and violet-striped flowers with lacy stems and leaves. A gentle breeze makes the petals dance while neither of them speaks.

“Would you?” she finally asks.

“Like you, I’m unsure how to begin.”

A cry carries across the pool—not alarmed but full-throated and exuberant. Waves surge, lifting sheets of water over the tiles. Even on the ground, its puddles appear black, almost bottomless. 

“I don’t know how to swim,” Madeline says.

“I don’t often have the chance to.”

“Shall we step in anyway? They’re wading on this side.” Even as she speaks, Madeline kicks off her slippers. The earth around the flowers is soft and surprisingly warm against her soles.

 

To Have and To Hold – and to Excerpt

To whet your appetite for To Have and To Hold, released October 15 of 2019, I wanted to share my own favorite part:

“Maybe you should stop trying to make sense of my kinks,” he says, smiling.

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

With some reluctance, she takes her hand from his ass and leans over the side of the bed for her suitcase. He takes the items as she hands them up. The lube, the packets of gloves and condoms, and then the double-headed dildo. It’s in a marbled blue pattern that reminds her of the ocean. The “flesh” color didn’t match either of their skin tones, too pale for hers and too dark for his, and actually, she likes that this one doesn’t look at all realistic. What about any of this is realistic?

She’s married, to James, they’re on their honeymoon, the view outside her window looks like a postcard, and she’s about to fuck him just as he wants her to.

Claire leans over him as he spreads his legs, opening a space for her, exposing himself to her. She lifts his balls, already high and tight with his erection, and looks at him. He shivers, a tremble working its way up his thighs and turning into a wiggle along his hips and spine, as if her examination is overwhelming.

“You look good,” she says. “You’re so turned on.” One gloved finger runs along his cock, tracing a vein. “You don’t need to be shy.”

She actually can’t see a lot, his modesty protected by shadows and a little dark, curling hair. In itself that’s sexy to her. Claire has never thought of herself as the kind of person to be turned on by despoiling virgins, but there it is.

She brushes his hole with a lubed fingertip. “Okay?”

He pushes himself a little wider, another visible tremor moving along his legs. “Yes. Please.”

She feels him flex against her fingertip, not resisting but uncertain, so obviously self-conscious that it makes her smile coyly herself. As she pushes into him, his reaction is like stuttering, stammering, a shy flutter of muscles around her that makes her heart skip beats with utter adoration. He’s adorable.

“Oh my god,” she whispers as she slips further inside, eased by the slick lubricant and by the way he relaxes with a deep, slow breath. In a way it’s simpler than she feared but it’s also astonishing, this intimate opening of his body for her.

For adult fans of gentle femdom and vanilla dynamics alike, “To Have and to Hold” is a swooningly romantic and sizzlingly explicit short story about a honeymoon featuring first-time pegging–and herpes: maybe one of the sexiest ways to break down a taboo. With every copy sold, $1 will be donated to the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (http://www.thecsph.org/), an organization that promotes education and dialogue about sexuality.

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